To Wait or Not To Wait

That is the question.

Just between you and me, congratulations!  Whether this is your very first baby, or another sweet addition to your your large, growing family, finding out you are expecting is a lot.  You may feel shocked, overwhelmed, nervous, sad, guilty, let down, or annoyed.  Or you may feel excited, joyful, explosive, warm, thoughtful, grateful, emotional, clingy, confused and more.  You might even feel all of these things at the exact same time.

When I found out I was expecting my last baby, I remember pacing the house back and forth, back and forth, not knowing what to do next.  It was unexpected to be expecting and I could not process one emotion from another.  To this day I cannot tell you what I was feeling.  And that is okay, and normal, if that is you.

Another pregnancy, I could not stop smiling for days.  I was filled to the brim with joy because I was carrying a living being inside me.  If that is you, I silently celebrate with you.

I was so disappointed, mourning one of my pregnancies for months. I could not accept that I was to have another baby.  If this is you, there are pregnancy centers that can comfort you and help you.  I identify with you so deeply.  You are not a bad person for feeling this way.  It is okay to feel like you don’t want to be pregnant and have a baby.

All of these reactions were different and yet, many of the same questions were going through my head.

Thinking about Thinking about Thinking

There are so many things to think about, and you are trying to think about them all at the same time.  Things that could be going through your head right now:

• thoughts about what having a child will be like,
• thoughts about labor and birth,
• thoughts about what you need to start doing to get ready,
• thoughts about calling your ob/gyn or midwife,
• thoughts aimed straight through your heartstrings toward your womb.
• thoughts about money

One of those thoughts that is probably running through your mind is whom should you tell and when.  The answer to this question is not simple, since it is completely different for every person and every pregnancy.

The First to Know

The first person to know should be your partner.  As long as you feel safe to tell them, they need to know fairly quickly that you are expecting their baby.  Their reaction, just like yours, can be anywhere from joy to anger.  They, too, may be overwhelmed or excited, so try to give them a little space to process this big news.

The next person/people to know should be your care provider, whomever you choose.  Whether you are going to use a midwife or an ob/gyn, you will need to schedule an appointment with them to verify your pregnancy.  They will let your insurance know, if applicable, and begin to schedule your lab tests and scheduled well visits.

Who else?

Beyond these two, who you tell and when is totally up to you.  Things you should think about:

• if those you choose to tell are on your social media platforms
• if they have a history of keeping quiet when they are supposed to
• if they will be hurt if you wait to tell them
• if they will get over it
• if you are comfortable with them knowing
• if you are comforted by them knowing
• if it is practical for them to know

Sometimes proud grandparents can spill the beans way earlier than you intended everyone to know.  Grandparents can also feel left out if you wait to share your news, but they will be the first to get over that.  Besties may let it slip on Instagram or Facebook and then the word is out.  Make your choices carefully.  The answers are different for everyone and there is no right answer here.

To Wait

Many new parents choose to wait until 16 weeks to publicly announce their pregnancy due to fear of miscarriage, superstition, or desire for privacy. If you choose to wait, be prepared for there to be mild offense once you do announce.   Not uncommonly,  those close to you may be upset that you withheld your news from them.  They should quickly get over it in lieu of celebrating and now being up to speed.

Or Not to Wait

Some people are ready to announce pregnancy right away to all.  That is okay too.  The reasons people like to begin announcing early on include

• excitement,
• desire for prayer,
• excitement,
• inability to keep a secret,
• excitement,
• desire to be doted on,
• or simply not seeing the prudence in waiting to announce.

All of these are valid points.  If you are in this group, then tell the world, loud and proud.  Remember, it’s your call.

An Important Point for Waiting

Medically, you may wish to delay telling everyone simply because the first trimester is the highest risk of miscarriage.  While miscarrying is heart wrenching, having to telling every Tom, Dick and Harry that you have miscarried is a horrible experience you have to relive repeatedly.  If you are a high risk of miscarriage or it seems wise to you to wait until after the first trimester, you can wait to announce.

A Compromise

If you are really ready to tell your loved ones your good news, and yet you still see the benefit of waiting until you are past the highest risk of miscarriage, you can tell your closest friends and family.  Let them know you are with holding announcing until your second trimester.  It is acceptable that they should keep your business, that you lovingly shared with them, quiet for your benefit.

Making the Call

The very cool thing about telling others that you are expecting is that it is one of the very first decisions you will make as your baby’s parent.  It will be one of the first decisions you make in a long line of choices you will make for the good of your little one.  Discuss it with your partner and with your care provider and then you get to make the call.  Best wishes for you as you navigate this important question for your family. And again, congrats to you!

From the beginning of time women have given birth, bringing forth new life. All over the world when women have their babies, a new mother is born.  Globally, there are extensive traditions surrounding mothers and babies.   In the days immediately after birth, rituals for healing and blessing encompass mothers. Likewise, postpartum healing is rich with traditions and customs. Above all, each culture is unique.  Every community has ideas based on anecdotal evidence or just plain superstition. This blog is going to focus on traditions surrounding the placenta.

The Practical Placenta

First of all, what is a placenta? When a woman becomes pregnant, the placenta begins forming almost immediately. It begins functioning as it is forming and is completely functional by the end of the first trimester. The placenta performs many jobs that are essential to the pregnancy.

There are five functions the placenta performs.  It acts as the baby’s:

• barrier to keep out toxic substances
• endocrine system, balancing hormones
• digestive system, nourishing the fetus
• excretory system by getting rid of waste
• respiratory system by bringing oxygenated blood to the fetus

The placenta with the umbilical cord is born soon after a woman gives birth to her baby.

10 Traditions Surrounding the Placenta

1. United States

In the US, when a woman gives birth, usually the hospital throws her placenta away with all the other bio hazardous material. There are no traditions in the states surrounding the placenta and it is a mere afterthought that is quickly and quietly disposed of.

However, in other nations and tribes, the placenta has significant purpose and it is handled with utmost care. Let’s take a closer look at some of these cultures.

2. Hawaii

 Hawaiian traditional midwives considered both the placenta and the umbilical cord an extension of the body, so they were treated with utmost respect when buried to allow spiritual involvement holistic healing. The midwives wash the placenta and bury it with a sapling. After that, when the baby’s cord fell off it was taken to one of many sacred places and put in a hole with a volcanic rock over it.

3. Germany

Ancient Germans, planted the placenta with a tree as well. The tree’s shadow, size and shape predicted the life path of the placenta’s “milk brother” or person who grew with the placenta in the womb.

4. Europe

Many countries in Europe believe the fruits of an apple tree planted with a placenta were could ensure a woman who ate them was to be a mother of new human life. And so the tradition is to plant an apple tree with the placenta. Europeans said that eating the apples of a healthy apple tree planted with a placenta would transfer healing energy to it’s “milk brother”. Milk brother is a term Europeans use interchangeably with the baby and his placenta.

5. Switzerland

In Switzerland parents plant placentas under trees.  If the baby is a boy, the parents are to plant the placenta under a nut tree and they plant it under an apple tree if the baby is a girl.

6. Sudan

Sudanese parents bury the placenta of their child near their desired path for the child. For example, many parents in Sudan bury the placenta near the medical facility in hopes their child will become a doctor.

7.Tanzania

In Tanzania the midwife’s assistant is to bury the placenta, along with salt and coins in a secret place for good luck. The burial place is supposed to be kept a secret. Therefore any person who may be jealous of the baby’s future wealth can not “lay an evil eye” on the placenta.

8. Other interesting traditions

Also in several other cultures, a dried piece of the umbilical cord is to be kept in the pocket or wallet at all times for good luck. For instance, one story tells of a German mother sewing a well kept piece of her baby’s umbilical cord into the hem of her adult son’s pants.  She believed the piece was lucky and would keep his number from being picked in the war draft.

9. The Pacific Islands

When a baby is born, Islanders tie the umbilical cord into a knot and then dry it.  Once the child can untie the knot from the dried umbilical cord he may join the adult circles.  This is an ancient rite of passage in the Pacific Islands.

10.  Traditional Chinese Medicine

In Traditional Chinese Medicine the placenta is drained, steamed, and dried for consumption by mothers. The placenta is not solely for the mother’s postpartum healing, but has many uses within the TCM community at large. Those who practice TCM think very highly of placentas. They believe it restores and balances chi.  The placenta nourishes consumers, instilling energy and fighting fatigue. TCM practitioners consider the placenta one of the most warming “herbs” in use.  Instead of a mother consuming her own placenta, any person who was “too cool” could benefit from either consuming dried placenta or using placenta topically by means of a salve.

The Placenta’s Value

In conclusion, traditions surrounding the placenta are many and varied, worldwide. Many cultures use the revered placenta for healing a variety of ailments, particularly post birth recovery. Additionally several communities consider the placenta good luck and a blessing for the mother and/or child, . Each culture has its own wonderfully unique ideas about the use of the practical placenta.

The placenta is known for promoting post-birth recovery.

 

This article provided information taken from “Placenta: Gift of Life” by Cornelia Enning, Motherbaby Press, Eugene, Oregon, copyright 2007, 2011

10 Things that are on my mind during a birth consult.

Have you ever wondered what a doula was really thinking during a consult with her? Has it occurred to you to wonder what else a doula might be juggling before, during or after your meeting? I’d like to share a few of my thoughts that are going through my head while meeting with potential clients. First off, I am not every doula; I’m only me. What is going on in my head is all I can speak on. I am not the highest paid, the one with the most experience, or the most well known doula; but. I am a deeply empathetic doula, who knows birth, and who believes in respect for women.   I hope this brings insight to you about my world and who I am, as a doula, as a person.

 

1. On the way to your consult I am probably on the phone.

I have my GPS pulled up telling me how to get to your home. I’m messaging my teenager a few last instructions I forgot to mention about running the home and babysitting my younger children. I may text another doula friend about something that I was wondering might come up in our meeting that I wasn’t entirely sure about. My phone may ring and it is a client whose wondering if her cramping could be “the real thing” and we might chat on speaker phone, so I can still navigate to your home, of course. I message my husband, telling him dinner is in the crock pot for when we both get home. I feel excited to meet you and also nervous because meeting new people is exciting and nerve racking.

 

2. Once I get to you house, I’m the most nervous.

I pray that this is the right one as I walk up to your house and ring the doorbell.

Then you open the door and I see a lovely, smiling obviously pregnant person who is expecting me. All the nervousness immediately goes away and I am totally filled with excitement about your upcoming birth.

First of all, I want you to know that I am not here to be served. I am here to serve. You don’t need to do much for me. Simply show me where you would like to sit while we talk. I can tell that you went to a lot of trouble to prepare for my visit: the house is spotless and quiet despite you having 2 other kids. You make a tray of cookies and a pitcher of lemonade and so I pour us both a glass. I am going to ask if you are comfortable and if there is anything you need before we start; do you need to run to the restroom? After all, when you are expecting, often times you have to pee. A lot.

 

3. I want to know more about you.

I’m interested to know what you want. I understand what you are feeling and experiencing on a personal level.  Pregnancy can fell awful and wonderful, often at the same time.  I know so many things about pregnancy and birth and I can’t wait to share them with you.   I literally want to be your best friend and support you in the ways I’ve been trained. Let’s use all my knowledge and experience to your advantage. It’s my pleasure to meet your puppy/kitty/ferret/fish and your partner/spouse so we can be friends too.

 

4. I want you to know that I am qualified to be there for you.

It is my desire that you know you can trust me. I wish the best for you which is you feeling validated every step of the way. Know that if you want a different birth than I would want for myself, that is okay with me.  It’s okay that we are different. I need you to know that no matter what you want, I’m there to support you. I’m a professional and that’s what professional care looks like.

 

5. I am afraid to offend you.

Also, in my brain, I am hoping that I don’t say something that is inappropriate. I am a people pleaser by nature and as a person who talks to women for a living, I know something can be said that comes across wrong. It is my deepest desire to keep things right between us, because I want us to be friends.

 

6. I am comfortable in your home.

I can tell right away that your home is your hub: the center of the goings on in your life. It is lived in and cozy and I promise, if there is a mess, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. If the kids are noisy, it doesn’t phase me. If your dog wants to camp out on my lap during our time together, I’ll pet him while we talk. My home is the hub in my life too. My home is lived in, cozy, messy, loud and intruding. And that is wonderful.

 

7. I am hopeful you feel safe around me.

My purpose as a doula is to create calm and safety for my clients. I wish for you to be yourself around me and for you to feel like you can be honest with me. It is my hope that you feel heard and respected when you are speaking with me, because that feeling will be very important when it comes time for you to give birth. I may ask questions about whether the people attending your birth make you feel valued, and validated. I really want to be one of those people for you, because feeling safe and relaxed in labor is so important for mother and baby.

 

8. I am not distracted from you.

I hear you because I am a good listener. Understanding you is something I’m pretty good at. There is nothing else on my mind except making sure that I can repeat back to you what I hear you saying. That way, if I misunderstand, you can correct me. I’m not thinking of stopping by the store later, or my next appointment. I’m not wondering if I cut off the coffee pot or even how my own children are doing with the sitter.

What you are saying, is what I am focused on.  That and also what you are not saying. I can see you starting to relax around me, or if you are still staying guarded. I sense you feeling nervous with your mother-in-law who invited herself to our meeting. You are excited about your best friend flying in for a visit before the baby comes, so I’m excited too. I feel your heart’s desire for a natural birth/planned cesarean section/epidural and I wish that for you so much. I want to protect that desire and see it come to fruition.

 

9. I am not shocked by anything you say.

I have seen and heard many things since deciding to be a birth worker. The differences in birth preferences is vast and varied. It honestly doesn’t throw me when you tell me you wish to bottle feed your baby. You won’t surprise me when you say you wish to labor long enough to feel like you “felt labor” and then you want an epidural. I have seen a client be adamant about her baby not wearing a hat after birth or receiving a bath. I’ve heard of women doing a lotus birth, leaving the placenta attached until it naturally falls off. I’ve stood with clients when they joyfully prepare for their cesarean birth. I watched clients get their victory VBAC or get the water birth they so desired.

Nothing you say will offend me or create a feeling of judgement in me. I do not wish to be judged for the choices I make and I certainly don’t want to make another mother feel judged by me. If your choices are different than the ones I would make, that is okay with me. I will support your choices for your birth of your baby. None of this is about me and there is no room for judgement from me in our relationship. There is only room for welcoming warmth, acceptance, support.

 

10. I am glad we spent this time together.

As we wrap things up and I head to the door, I feel thankful for the opportunity to talk to you. Will we get to talk again, soon? I am looking forward to serving you and your wonderful family. There is so much more I’d like to tell you about birth and I want to learn more about what you want from your birth. I wish for you to get a better night’s sleep tonight, though I know it is difficult. My desire is that you feel like I’ve heard your heart today. My goal is that you feel more confident about your birth because you talked to me. I hope you found the support you were looking for in me, and are excited for your upcoming birth.

Amber Hoyle-Harris, Birth Doula, Postpartum Placenta Specialist, owner of Breathtaking Birth Doulas

In most other countries, there is some form of tradition surrounding a mother and baby for the weeks immediately following birth.

China

For example, in China there is a month long resting period for new mothers known as zuo yuezi.  This is a month long period where new mothers are heavily restricted in what they are to eat, drink, and do. Drinking cold water and eating raw foods are not allowed. New mothers are fed soups and broths to aid in lactation and they are not to bathe. All of this accompanied by pajamas, warm socks, and rest are supposed to help restore the mother’s yin and yang and to strengthen the mother.

India

There is a 40-60 day confinement period which is designed to protect mother and baby from infections, in India.  It allows the mother to be fed nutritious, easily digested foods and be given infused herbal baths. New mothers receive daily massages with oil blends to aid in recovery from birth. This time period is for the strengthening of the postpartum body.

France

French women receive care in the hospital a minimum of 5 days. Then nurses make routine house calls to monitor them. French women also receive prescriptions for la rééducation périnéale, a physical therapy that retrains pelvic floor muscles.

Latin America

Several Latin American countries observe la cuarentena. This is a six week confinement period where new mothers abstain from sex, avoid certain foods, and do not engage in strenuous activity. The point of la cuarentena is for the mother to have the time and energy to devote solely to taking care of her new baby. During this time, other family members will pitch in to help take care of older children.  Family members also cook all the meals, and keep up with the household chores.

Finland

Additionally in Finland there is the tradition of sending home a baby box with new moms. The baby box is full of clothes, diapers, a snowsuit and hat, baby book, and other necessities. The box comes with a mattress, turning the box itself into a bed for the infant. This practice of meeting the needs of a new mom and baby has had a positive impact on infant mortality rates in Finland.

How Our Culture is Failing Mothers

In the USA, there is absolutely no tradition devoted to taking care of brand new mothers during the postpartum time.

After the baby is born, doctors make sure mom and baby are well enough to leave hospital care, and then discharge within 24-48 hours.  They schedule a[check up in 6 weeks to follow up. Six weeks! Women who just had a baby, many of them first time moms are being sent home with their babies with absolutely no on-going care, monitoring, or support. That is neglect and it is how our culture is failing new mothers.

A lot of things are going on in a new mother’s body within those six weeks.

A mother’s hormones are adjusting to not being pregnant anymore. Those same hormones are instigating milk production. A mother’s uterus is healing from losing the placenta, a wound the size of a dinner plate. Her uterus is also working to return to a (new) normal size. She may be healing from a cesarean section and/or her perineum may be sore and bleeding. Plus, depending on how long she labored or if she had a surgical birth, she may generally feel like she just completed a marathon.

Many more things are happening outside of the mother’s body.

Establishing breastfeeding routines, bonding with a new human being, and adjusting to a new normal are not a walk in the park. Some lucky women have helpful people in their lives that come to do laundry and dishes and bring meals for a couple of weeks. But then what? Other women have no such group to uphold them while they enter motherhood.  They feel overwhelmed and unsure of every choice they have to make.

To make matters worse, the US has no paid maternity leave legislated. So many mothers are returning to work, weeks before they have healed or bonded well with their baby. This fact alone puts mothers and infants at risk of infection and readily damages breastfeeding. It slows a woman’s healing process and can impact the bonding between a mother and her baby.

Our culture needs a better standard of care for our new mothers. As a world leader and a first world nation, the US should be leading the way in postpartum care for our mother’s and newborns. Unfortunately that is not a reality right now.  It is a problem that needs an immediate solution.

There is a solution: the postpartum doula.

 

Educated in postpartum care of mothers and trained in newborn care, postpartum doulas provides in-home support for new mothers. Postpartum doulas care for mothers, allowing them to recover and heal.  With the support of a doula, mothers can easily bond with their baby since the distractions of everyday life are being handled.

What does postpartum support look like?

Postpartum doulas are there to facilitate mother baby bonding. This means your doula will take care of your household chores and look after other children. This includes preparing nutritious meals. Your doula may run you an herbal bath or instead, hold your baby so you can take a shower. Your baby will be well taken care when your doula is there .

A postpartum doula will help you learn how to babywear and show you how to swaddle your baby. She is able to help you latch your baby and give helpful advice for establishing a breastfeeding routine to help you reach your goals. Your postpartum doula is there when you feel overwhelmed with your new path and confused about what is next. She is there in the lonely hours so you don’t have to feel alone.

Doulas listen to women

Additionally a postpartum doula listens to you and hears what you need. Your postpartum doula is there to respond to your needs  offers her expertise, her hands, and her friendship to you. When a woman hires a postpartum doula, she gains peace-of-mind. Everything else is taken care of, so she can rest, and heal from birth. She can stare at her baby’s face and learn her baby’s smell. Perhaps her significant other can join in this sacred space with her, since their doula is taking care of everything else and guarding that space.

Doulas support women who have had a Cesarean Section

Recovery from birth takes time and rest.  Recovering from birth and surgery takes a little more of both.  Doulas serve women after their surgical birth in practical ways. Bringing baby to the mother for feedings, preparing food, and answering questions are helpful ways a doula will support a new mom.  The doula’s sole focus is the well being of both mother and baby.   Resting is made possible with their needs are all met.

Doulas give overnight support

In the wee, lonely hours of sleep deprivation and breastfeeding, a PPD can be there, offering a healthy snack and a friendly ear as she helps baby latch on properly. A postpartum doula can stay nearby all night long emanating peace of mind for new parents.

There are doulas near you

Our country has a painfully long way to go towards postpartum care of new mothers and newborns, but in the meantime, there are postpartum doulas. They are in every state and most likely there is one near you. Find yourself a postpartum doula; you will be so glad you did.

Information about other countries traditions taken from https://www.scarymommy.com/postpartum-care-is-better-other-countries/

It was way back in the beginning, before I was the person I am today.

I remember it so well though; the first time I heard a mother say she preferred birthing via cesarean section. I was standing in a friend’s yard, surrounded by used trinkets and baby items as people were shopping our “multi-family” yard sale together.

She said she “could not imagine giving birth any other way”. I was taken aback. As a new doula at the time, I listened while smiling and used general terms like, “that is so interesting” and “So that works for you?” But I turned to my doula friends after she left and we were all shocked that she had said that. We spoke of how sorry we were that she didn’t get a chance to have the “beautiful birth” that we got to have. If she only knew how wonderful and empowering our births were while we labored at home with our amazing midwife and doulas. Poor thing. She could have had such an amazing experience where her choices were supported. Poor, poor mama.

Did you catch that? We were judging her for her choices.

Without realizing it, we judged her because the choices she made (and stood by, by the way) were different than our choices. Even as doulas, we didn’t get it.

Let me back up a little more.

I had just had my first home birth a year and a half prior and I was due for my second home birth in the next four months. There is not a single moment in my life more empowering than my first home birth, where my midwife, my doulas, and my family rallied around me to support every decision I made during my pregnancy and birth. I would go on to have another successful home birth where my choices were honored. Before that birth, i.e. when I spoke with this mother, I had a fear of needing a cesarean. It was not a trivial fear. It was a fear that kept me awake at night and haunted my dreams.  Based on my fear of being out-of-control, it was something I had to come to terms with before I entered the birth space.

So to hear a woman express preference to something that absolutely terrified me, I felt that, obviously, she was traumatized or maybe even crazy. She definitely could NOT have KNOWN there was a “better” way. At least in my narrow little view of what birth is supposed to be like.

Maternal Elective Cesareans are on the Rise

The fact is that an estimated 2.5% of births in the US are maternal elective cesareans. Compare that to the 1.5% of births in the US that are home births. There are almost twice the amount of elective cesareans as home births. That is a huge difference when considering, that isn’t counting how many recommended cesareans women might still prefer. They don’t want a VBAC. They want a cesarean and they don’t want to be judged for it.   Nor do they need to be given resources that support anything other than that. We’ve got to progress beyond our small thinking (especially doulas) and get back to supporting women. Can you see a world where a woman wants to birth her way, and is met with positivity and acceptance?  That is when a doula is at her best and mothers become empowered.

Flash forward to the present.

Yesterday I had a lovely conversation with a mom and friend who is expecting her 3rd baby this fall. She was telling me that she, too, preferred a cesarean over vaginal delivery. She had experienced both and she thought her cesarean went more smoothly than her first birth. I smiled and listened to her. Truly understanding her, I now “get it”. Her choice to birth via cesarean was a decision I could support her in because her preference matters. After all, it’s her birth. It’s not my birth or my decision to make. It is neither my place nor my desire to judge her for making the decisions that work best for her. Her “beautiful” birth simply looks different than mine, and that is not only okay, it’s wonderful.

It’s bigger than us.

It is my job as a doula to get behind a woman when she knows what she wants. Is it my job to provide resources and education to women who ask for guidance? Yes it is. I am fully equipped to do so. But not when a person looks me in the eyes and lets me know what works for them. I will look you right back in the eyes and ask you, “Awesome. How can I support you in that?” And I will mean it from the bottom of my heart.

So now, as a seasoned doula, when a client tells me what she wishes for her birth, I am ready to come alongside her in making that happen.  Because when I can support YOUR choices, whatever they may be, I am supporting women everywhere being heard and respected. And that is big. It is so much bigger than either of us.

“They don’t want a VBAC. They want a cesarean and they don’t want to be judged”

Placenta Encapsulation

A growing occurrence in the U.S. is the practice of a mother consuming her placenta after birth. Placenta consumption is not usually a topic discussed in dignified company.  Since it can be off putting to the layperson, the topic is rarely talked about.  So many people have only heard the term “placenta encapsulation” in passing. It is often received with an incredulous, “gross!” or “why?”

The Placenta: a History

The history of placenta consumption dates back more than 5,000 years. The first written information on consuming placentas comes from Traditional Chinese Medicine. While different texts vary slightly, they all include the same process.  First all the blood is drained from the placenta.  Then the placenta is lightly steaming with specific herbs in the steaming water.  After that the steamed placenta is dried before grinding it into powder form.

The ancient Chinese believe the placenta warms the energy of a woman.  A woman is considered cool after giving birth.  She needs to be warmed again.  Chinese practitioners add ginger and lemon to it in order to further warm the placenta.  The fact that ginger and lemon are used is interesting from a modern medical perspective.  Ginger is antibacterial and helps with muscle soreness. Lemon has antiseptic properties: antimicrobial, antiviral, and anti fungal. Lemon has coagulant properties as well. It helps control bleeding which is important for the postpartum mother.

Modern Times

In modern times, women encapsulate and consume their placentas for several reasons.  These include increasing milk supply and balancing post-pregnancy hormones. Additionally, placenta assists new mothers in recovery from birth, improves overall mood.

Science has much to catch up on this topic. There are very few studies available which are either too small or very old.  Nonetheless it is anecdotal evidence that indicates the validity of consuming placenta capsules.  Women who actually encapsulated their placenta for consumption attest to its effectiveness.

More about the Placenta

The placenta is quite an amazing organ. It has unique qualities even before it is delivered. For instance the placenta originated from the same fertilized ovum that created the fetus and umbilical cord. Additionally there are many functions that the placenta performed in utero.

The placenta:

• Served as a barrier to keep toxins away from the fetus.
• Supplied oxygenated blood to the fetus
• Worked to remove waste created by the fetus
• Filtered the amniotic fluid
• Brought nourishment to the fetus through the umbilical cord
• produced pregnancy supporting hormones

Altogether, the placenta serves many important functions.  The placenta acts as a protective barrier, and works as the respiratory, excretory, digestive, and endocrine system of the baby.  The only organ our body makes for one  sole purpose is the placenta.  It is also the only organ the body discards after it completes the task. .  It really is quite an amazing organ.

Ingestion Methods

There are a few different ways to ingest the placenta. The most common process is lightly steaming the placenta.  Afterwards, the placenta is dehydrated. Then it is ground it into powder and put into capsules. Simply take these capsules with juice. Be sure to store placenta capsules in the refrigerator.  This way they are safe to consume for up to 2 years.

Placenta tinctures are another way to safely consume your placenta.  You make tinctures by mixing placenta powder with high proof alcohol.  It takes six weeks to cure a tincture. Once it is ready, the tincture is safe to consume almost indefinitely.  It is beneficial to use the tincture for those particularly uncomfortable menstruation cycles.  Additionally placenta tinctures ease the discomforts of menopause.

Other interesting ways to use dried placenta include:

• making a salve for skin problems like vitiligo
• planting under a baby tree
• making hair condition to treat hair loss and alopecia

Raw Consumption

Some women eat the raw placenta in a smoothie, or by placing a raw piece in a capsule. Another way to consume the placenta raw is by skipping the steaming step.  This method drys the placenta from its raw state. Some women and birth workers believe the placenta retains more energy,  producing more potent capsules this way.  However, Postpartum Placenta Specialists do not recommend this method.  It does not get the placenta up to 160 degrees F to kill any bacteria present.  Actually the low temperatures of drying raw meat facilitate bacteria growth. Temperatures below 160 degrees F keep the organ in what the US Food Safety and Inspection Service call the danger zone. The danger zone is from 41 to 140 degrees Fahrenheit.And so it is best to steam the placenta to ensure safe consumption.

Finding a Local Postpartum Placenta Specialist

Have more questions?    Postpartum Placenta Specialists are knowledgeable in the art of placenta encapsulation and will give you more information.  Google search “Postpartum Placenta Specialist” followed by your area.

Breathtaking Birth Doulas is local to Cypress, Katy, and West Houston. Please contact us or visit us on our Facebook page if you are interested in learning more about placenta encapsulation.

When you are expecting, you have so much going on around you and your baby. Between check ups, and choosing your birth place, creating your baby’s space in the home and getting ready for the birth itself, it is easy to overlook your teeth. Honestly, dental hygiene can really fall to the bottom of the totem pole as far as priorities during this time. Don’t let going to the dentist fall between the cracks, though. Local Dentist, Dr. April Lee with Lakeside Dentistry says, “During pregnancy, the best thing to do is keep up really good oral hygiene. Flossing is critical: 65% of plaque comes off with brushing and 35% with flossing”.

So, what do you really need to know about visiting the dentist while pregnant? Just a few things to think about:

When should I let my dentist know I am pregnant?

Go ahead and tell your dentist if you think you are expecting when you set up your appointment with them. Also, when you go, let them know how far along you are and if your doctor has given any special instructions or prescribed medications. If you are a high risk pregnancy, you dentist or doctor may wish to postpone a procedure, so be sure to communicate that too. It’s kind of a no-brainer, which is good if you’ve got pregnancy brain.

Will being pregnant affect my teeth?

Many women do not experience discomfort in their mouths during pregnancy. Dental visits and good dental care will keep a handle on any changes that may be happening like a preexisting condition becoming more aggravated.

Some women experience pregnancy gingivitis, which is gum swelling and tenderness. Going in for a cleaning every 3 months instead of 6 months, is recommended by Dr. Lee and supported by the ADA. Flossing is pretty uncomfortable when your gums are swelling and bleeding, but getting a good flossing game on can reverse these symptoms in as little as 7 days.

Did you know expecting mothers are at an increased risk of tooth decay due to the hormone changes going on during pregnancy? When you are feeling morning sickness and/or an increased gag reflex, good dental hygiene can become a real hassle. However morning sickness causes an increase in acid in your mouth, which eats away at your tooth enamel. Try brushing after morning sickness has subsided. Also try using plastic flossers instead of loose floss; it feels like you don’t have to open your mouth as much and you don’t have both hands trying to work around your teeth.

In addition, you might be consuming additional carbohydrates due to morning sickness, which is a good way to keep nausea at bay, but can also cause cavities to form. So be sure to schedule those 3 month cleanings to prevent any problems.

What about Anesthetics?

This one’s a biggie. You are probably wondering about the safety of using anesthetics while pregnant, if you actually need dental work done. It is a good idea to get a doctor’s or midwife’s consent for before numbing for any reason. Most dental anesthetics have been deemed safe by the ADA during pregnancy. Ask your dentist to refrain from using epinephrine. Though there are no human studies on using epinephrine during pregnancy, there have been some complications with the fetus in animal studies. As with any drug, there is a risk and benefit ratio that should be considered.

On a side note, epinephrine is associated with reduced milk production and letdown.  Epinephrine also comes out in breast milk. Read more about epinephrine here.

What about X-Rays?

Another question many women ask is whether you can get x-rays done while expecting. The ADA confirms the safety of having dental x-rays done while pregnant. The small amount of radiation from the x-ray machine will be blocked by the lead apron you will don. However, if you are uncomfortable with the idea, talk with your dentist. You should have a risk vs. benefit conversation with them. It is always important to let your concerts be known, so don’t keep those questions inside.

Pregnancy changes such a wide variety of changes in your body, including how to care for your teeth. Now you know what is safe for your oral hygiene while pregnant.  You can make choices that you are comfortable with. And that is one less thing to worry about.

It’s that time of year again. Time to get your supplies on the list you were given. Time to go shopping for clothes and shoe shopping. It’s time to meet that lovely teacher person who is going to be educating your child the entire school year. It is a time of endless paperwork and opportunities to volunteer. And this year, you get to go it all with a new baby.

You might be just getting a semblance of a routine going. Perhaps your baby is just starting solids. Maybe teething has had you both up for the past 3 nights. It could be that your newborn is still learning to nurse well.

No matter where you are in your journey that is mothering an infant, having older siblings starting school definitely is a game changer.

Having a baby while juggling the carpool line, lunch packing, school shopping, and all the other things that go along with school age kiddos should automatically bump you into the “Super Mom” category. Maybe you are the mom that has it all together already. You’ve got this for sure, you Wonder Woman, you. But if you, like so many of us, feel like it’s totally overwhelming to be the mom of both school children and a baby (or babies!) then here are some tips to help you get through this crazy time.

1. Get Help

Asking for help is not something that comes natural to me. It makes me feel weak and the southern belle in me dislikes putting anyone else out. Don’t let that stop you from reaching out to those who are offering to help. Often those you ask to help are more than happy you asked.

a. Accept help

When people offer to help you, accept.  It’s too easy to turn down help offers.   Don’t pretend like you are fine.  Say “yes” to all attempts to assist you.  Additionally, your significant other should expect to take on more responsibility as you are also taking on so much more than before you had your baby.

b. Ask for help

Any visitors, whether friends or family, can pitch in.  For example, they can take chores off your plate by quickly emptying the kitchen sink, or folding a load of laundry. Even if your baby is a little bit older, it’s still okay to ask for a hand with these tasks, especially when you have older kids in school. Additionally, your significant other should expect to take on more responsibility as you are also taking on so much more than before you had your baby.   Make your needs known so the people around you understand how to help you.

Ask your mother or MIL help you. However don’t fall into the trap of having to entertain. Be clear about your expectations before she even gets there. Communication is pivotal in making this scenario effective.

c. Hire help

If you don’t have resources such as family or close friends that you might feel comfortable asking to help you, seek out a postpartum doula. A doula is worth her weight in gold when it comes to lending a hand with everything from sleep shaping to helping you establish a routine that works for your whole family.

2. Get Organized

Being organized is one of the most important things you will do to make your days run smoothly. From getting your kids fed and on the bus, to picking up kids in the drop off line with a nursling in tow, having a plan makes it all the more manageable. Pinterest has some great “get organized” posts that you can choose from that I’ve included in this post.

A. Meal Plan

Start with a meal plan. I like to do 2 weeks at a time. I start with dinner first, since that seems to be the “big meal” that we all eat together. Once I plan the next 14 dinners, I go back and plan lunches and breakfasts. Often times I can use leftovers from dinner for lunch in my plan. I use this template or even just a plan sheet of my kid’s notebook paper. Instead of making a grocery list, which takes time I don’t have, I simply take my meal plan that I take a picture of on my phone to make sure I have everything. My “grocery list” is simply an ongoing list I keep on the fridge of whatever we are out of or in need of. So I shop off my meal plan and my ongoing list every week. This has proven effective for my family, but if you try it and you need to make adjustments, do what works for you!

B. Plan your housework

When it comes to keeping up your house, sort your chores in 3 categories: everyday chores, every week chores, and every month chores.

a. Everyday Chores

The chores that need to be done everyday might include dishes and running the dishwasher, doing laundry, sweeping the kitchen, cleaning breast pump supplies, making lunches, making beds, etc. These need a time allotment every day at the same time to make sure they are getting done.

b. Every Week Chores

The chores that need to be done every week will be chores like vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, and dusting, etc. These need to have their own schedule.

c. Every Month Chores

And then the periodical chores might be cleaning out the van, dusting ceiling fans and blinds, re-potting plants, or clearing out the garage. Doing one of these a month can keep these kinds of jobs from piling up.

d. Create a Schedule

Here is a great resource for creating your house work schedule, but I highly encourage you to make your own. That way you can do what matters most to you, without the added burden of feeling like you should be doing more. The last thing you need with a new baby, is to feel like you should be doing what everyone else is doing.  Pro-tip: No one is doing everything perfectly anyway.

e. Be Flexible

The catch is you have to be flexible with a baby. They always need to eat right in the middle of your scheduled events. Every time. So be flexible and get done what you can, when you can. The trick is to schedule it in so you can be intentional about not letting it get out-of-hand. If it is already out-of-hand, see #1. The people in your life should be able to assist you in getting things back on track. The postpartum doulas at Breathtaking Birth Doulas are trained in supporting you and your baby as well as finding a routine that works for you both.

C. Chore chart

It is important to get your kids involved in the practical side of being a family. As upstanding citizens of your family, your children can be expected to pitch in with keeping up with the housework. From making their beds, to washing the dishes, they can take some things off your plate.

Here is a list of age appropriate jobs they can do. I also really like Accountability Kids charts. I like little effort, so my kids have a chart on my fridge (its the center of our existence apparently). It has their name on it and a simple grid of squares I drew. You can probably make one on your computer if you want.

My kids get a sticker when they do each chore the first time I ask. They can trade their stickers on Sat for prizes I keep in my closet. I price my prizes high so I can give out sticks like candy. You can trade for cash if you want. Find what they really want and use it as a reward. Every kid’s “currency” is different.

D. Plan your day (as best you can)

With the kids going back-to-school, unfortunately you must adhere to the school schedule set in place for you. It doesn’t take into account that you have a tiny one to take care of.  Nor does it care if you were up all night with a fussy baby. So staying ahead of the game looks like having a plan.

a. Write it down

Write out what needs to happen in your day and then add what you would like to see happening. Remember that you must be flexible on those extra things. Your baby could need you during the time you allotted towards something else, and that is expected.  Remember to schedule in baby feedings, diaper changes, and play/snuggle time. These things take time.  Schedule in a morning routine and post it for your kids to see.

b. Prepare the night before

You have to be awake in time to feed your kids breakfast and get them in the car/to the bus, so setting out breakfast the night before can make mornings flow better. This is an excellent time for your significant other to help. Make lunches for everyone at the same time too. That way the kids can fix their own breakfast (toast a bagel, make a bowl of cereal, microwave a packet of oatmeal) while you nurse your baby.

c. Plan for feeding your baby

Always schedule in nursing before dropping off/picking up the kids. The school drop off line is no place for a hungry baby. Try not to let your baby’s nap run over into the before-kid-pick-up nursing session. Start from pick up time and plan backwards so that your day runs like a well oiled machine.

d. Establish routines

Implement a consistent bedtime routine as well that includes putting on pajamas, teeth brushing, and story time. Kids thrive on routine and it makes it easier when they know what to expect next. After school activities love to throw this routine off, but even when you get home late, having the same routine every night reinforces that it is bedtime and that there is security at home. Just a series of 4 gestures is all it takes to create a feeling of security and well being. Whether it is at bedtime or in the morning before school, routines are important.

3. Get Support

Find your tribe. Parenting is one of the most difficult things you will ever do. Finding a village of like-minded people is essential for your well being and peace of mind. Not only can a group of friends give weathered advice, but they can also serve as a resource provider that you trust. Being in mommy group like MOPs, a breastfeeding group like LLL, even a local Facebook group like West Houston Natural Parenting you are surrounded with people in the same walk of life as you. They will inspire you, be an example for you, and come alongside you through your struggles, and victories. They are an invaluable asset to your parenting journey.

4. Get Grace

“Mommy shaming” is, unfortunately, an integral part of being a parent in this highly technological culture we live in. People say the darndest things when hiding behind a screen. People may even say hurtful things right to your face; perfect strangers, in fact! And don’t get me started about the pressures of the drop off line!

a. Take Courage

It is important, firstly, to take courage and confidence that you are putting all you’ve got into doing the very best for your children. No one wants what is best for your kids more than you do. This is another great reason to have a tribe; they can ground you when you feel like you might be headed in the wrong direction.

b. Don’t Judge Moms

Secondly, it is equally important that you do not shame other parents who are doing what they think is best for their kids. I would be remiss if I didn’t spread the word that we are the change, especially in this area. Don’t shame parents. Just don’t. Raising your own kids is hard enough work, so don’t go trying to raise someone else’s, am I right?

c. Don’t Judge Yourself

Also, it isn’t enough to simply “be off the hook” because people aren’t judging you. YOU have to not judge you, at least not too harshly. Perfection isn’t really a thing, and perfectionism isn’t going to serve you well, ever. Be flexible with your schedules and lists, because your baby has lots of needs throughout the day.

Your baby is time consuming and emotionally draining, and physically exhausting sometimes. That is the nature of having a little one. So let yourself be in the now. Let yourself fall behind because the hard work that you are doing for your baby matters. It doesn’t seem like it right now, but it absolutely, unshakably, without a doubt matters and it matters a whole lot. That means that sometimes everything else has to wait.

So give yourself space to breath.  Even if it is simply taking a deep breath while in the bathroom or reading a book during nap time, you can give yourself a little love. Sing and rock your baby. Take care of your needs too.  Brush your teeth if you haven’t yet or brush your hair. Get dressed or paint your nails. Do small things every day to show yourself that you love you.

5. Get Rest

One of the best ways to show yourself a little love is by choosing rest on the toughest days. You may have a laundry list (literally) of things to do, but if you are exhausted, you aren’t at the top of your game. Sometimes the best answer is rest.

There is NO SHAME in napping during nap time.

Hire someone trained to work with babies, like a doula or nanny to help you get a few extra zzz’s. If that is what you need to be the best mom you can be when your kids get home and you are all together, then that is the option to take.

Also, let your significant other take the lead during bedtime so you can sleep a couple extra hours. This is a handy tool when one or more of the kids are sick and keeping you up extra during the night. See #1. Sleep is an important element to our well being, and everyone knows new moms are not getting enough. So give yourself permission. Choose rest, when rest needs to be chosen.

6. Get Real

I’ve given you some tools to assist you during this back-to-school season. Using those tools while having a baby can be challenging in and of itself. The important thing here is to use pockets of time available to create and maintain them. Breastfeeding can sometimes be a great time at least think about what you can do at a later time. You can use nap time to flesh out more details using lists and charts.

The internet is at your disposal so use it to help yourself, like you are doing right now. The hardest part really is getting motivated to be consistent. Having the wherewithal to keep going with what you’ve already committed to comes from within.  You’ve got what it takes. It’s already there, inside you. Reach in and find it. Look at that lion inside you. Sleepy, maybe, but dangerous.

Your inner strength is enough to set your mind on achieving your goals. Step by step you will walk through the processes that will bring you out on top of your game. Your satisfaction in how you are managing a new baby, your home, and your back-to school schedule will increase your confidence.  That confidence will result in you feeling empowered. And an empowered mom, that’s what you are.

Best wishes for this upcoming school year!

“Foremost it is important to take courage and confidence that you are putting all you’ve got into doing the very best for your children.”

Whether you are having an elective Cesarean Section or you are at high risk for one, you should consider hiring a doula for a surgical birth.

To that I say emphatically, “yes!” Not only should you hire a doula trained to help you through this type of birth, but hiring a postpartum doula in the days and weeks that follow will be overwhelmingly helpful to you.

The first thing we do when you contact us is not judge you.  This is your birth and we’ll do it you your way.  Then we will make a birth plan together, because yes, even with having a cesarean section birth, you have options. Your doula will meet you at the hospital and be with you every step of the way getting ready. Some hospitals even allow doulas into the OR, so be sure to let your care provider know you are hiring one.  Ask if they allow doulas to be by your side during the surgery. Even if the hospital doesn’t allow doulas in the operating room, we will be waiting for you post op immediately after.

Emergency Cesarean Section

In the event of an emergency C-section the same goes: we may be allowed in or we will be waiting for you in the ICU. If the situation arises that your baby needs to go to the NI-CU, your partner will be free to go with the baby while your doula stays with you.  This is the way neither you nor your baby are left alone.

Your doula will be by your side in the hours following surgery.

Without having a shift change or need to care for other patients, your doula is focused on you. After your cesarean section your doula will care for your needs as they arise.   She can assist you in breastfeeding your new baby or help you begin bottle feeding. She will be there to help you get up and moving and help you go to the restroom once your catheter (a hollow tube inserted into the urethra for draining the bladder during surgery) is taken out.

What does a postpartum doula do?

A postpartum doula actually shows up at your home to come alongside you during your recovery.  We will be helping you care for yourself and your newborn.  Bringing the baby to you for breastfeeding or warming bottles for you to give your baby will allow you to continue resting and healing. Some of the things your doula is doing while you bond with your baby or rest are:

• Changing diapers
• washing pumping equipment
• doing household chores
• preparing meals
• helping care for the other children in the home

This kind of help makes for a smooth transition from surgery.   As you move your family forward towards your new normal, you’ll have the highest standard of care.

Processing your birth

Both the labor doulas and the postpartum doulas at Breathtaking Birth Doulas will help you process your birth by listening to you and validating you.  Negative feelings you may have about how your birth went are manageable when you have someone to talk through them with you. We see you and we hear you.  Additionally, because you have been afforded the opportunity to process all of your birth, it is possible you will experience less postpartum depression.

The doulas at Breathtaking Birth Doulas will never judge you. We will support your choices whole-heartedly, because this is your birth. Your opinions always come first and foremost. We know that you will carry your birth experience with you your entire life. Not even a thought that you have failed will enter our mind.   Never will we think, “Man, you really could have done it a better way”. The choices you made were the right ones for you. During birth you are faced with difficult decisions.  We know that supporting you in making the best choices for you is ultimately what is best for you.

That is the kind of unwavering support you deserve.   Have a dependable doula in your corner for your birth and recovery.  It is worth hiring yourself a doula, no matter what kind of birth you have.  You and your family are worth it.

 

It wasn’t always the same, but it was always there.

Never once have I been expecting without experiencing fear of some various aspect of childbirth. It turns out, many women just like me experience fear of childbirth when they are expecting. Are you having feelings of fear in this area?  If so, you and I are in good company.

There are many things that have disturbed the peace for women looking ahead to their birth Fear of feeling like a failure, epidural needles, puking, being naked, fetal complications, tearing, pooping, and even dying are overwhelming.  There is no limit to where fear can creep in and place excessive doubt and worry where it doesn’t belong. Birth is immanent. You cannot escape it.

There are some very good reasons for being afraid of your upcoming childbirth, namely that it can be painful, and sometimes, bad things happen. At times birth simply doesn’t go the way we intended and there are lasting effects that come along with it.

It’s true that childbirth does not come without a single risk. And yet, if we took a hard look at the facts, we know our fear is bigger than the reality of the actual risk. We know and still we coddle it and feed it. The feeling of fear is tangible to us.

Sometimes our fears make us feel silly, especially when we know fully well when our “fear” doesn’t even have a serious repercussion. It is literally us being frivolous. I mean, what damage ever came to someone who pooped during labor? But being afraid to poop in labor can prevent us from pushing properly when the time comes.

The Fear is Real.

Fear is very real and it absolutely has no place in the birthing room.

Fear triggers the body’s fight, flight, or freeze reflex. Feelings of fear cause the body to release adrenaline, the body’s defense mechanism.   Adrenaline directly conflicts with the hormone oxytocin, which is released when feeling safe and loved. Oxytocin is produced when you laugh, when you cuddle, and when you have good sex. It is oxytocin that moves labor along but when your body is producing adrenaline, it stops making oxytocin. Fear can literally stop your labor in its tracks. It can prolong your labor, and/or stall it, leading to possible interventions that you never hoped for.

Process Your Fear Now

It is absolutely essential that you process these fearful feelings beforehand. Speaking them aloud and directed at a listening ear can serve you well in this area. Research what you need to research. Talk about what you need to process through.  You need to let your listening partner know whether you want them to try and “fix” it or simply listen before speaking to them.  This way they know what you are looking for in them.

Recognize it, Speak it

Then you must find the strength to let it go. Labor is such a primal thing that your body is going to take over. You won’t have room to deal with it in the moment. Let your midwife know what you are feeling. Tell your doula what’s going on in your head. These people are trained to help you overcome so you are at your very best when you need to be just that. Then you can escort fear off the premises before it can cause any more trouble than it already has.